(Day -1) On Decision Making


It’s 5 am. I’m too nervous to sleep.

Yesterday, I received a text from one of my college friends that said she was headed back to New York City for an internship. Suddenly, it seems that I’ve left everyone and everything important to me in Manhattan.

While I spend my last day at home packing and going to the gym, I can’t help but feel that my NYC family bustles onward and forward with internships and summer classes.
I’m a total nerd. I love school. I worked all of high school to get into college and now I work my ass off in college to make Dean’s list. In the city, I go to the library every morning. I normally get up around 6 and walk through the still groggy and yawning city as it begrudgingly wakes up.
I miss it.
I just hope I’m not wasting my summer. Maybe when I get to LA I’ll feel different.

All of my friends are incredibly driven. I just know that they’ll do well in life because when they see a problem, they fix it.  I just turned twenty less than a month ago. I’ve been told that a person’s twenties are always filled with uncertainty. But I’m so uncertain about my decisions, my relationships, my classes, that I can only hope this feeling passes. I’m so uncertain that I’m awake at 5 am, writing about it.

My flight leaves at 6 am tomorrow. Wish me luck.


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