In university, I take a lot of ethical philosophy classes. This question comes up in every class:
If you could be happy all of the time, would you?
The idealists, as they call themselves, will ask you to imagine a world with only happiness. Everyone wants that, they say. But is that ideal? Can you know happiness without knowing pain or sorrow or loss?
I don’t think so. I think that happiness, or rather contentment, is something we derive from first knowing what pains us. In any case, being happy all the time is not only exhausting, but also annoying.
So when you’re in that new apartment in that new place and you’re crying because you left (even if only for the summer) a place where you were happy, think about who you want to be.
And if you’re thinking about throwing in the towel, ask yourself if you’re really giving up, or if you’re leaving something that was deconstructive when it was supposed to be reconstructive.
Then when you’re physically tired from all of that thinking, open the freezer and let the artificial breeze run over your features. Decide that you’re here for a reason, but you don’t know that reason yet.