(Day 15) When you give a girl a frapaccino (a social satire)

If you give a girl a frapaccino, she will ask you to make it skinny. When you hand her the remade skinny mocha frapaccino, she’ll curl her lip in disdain and ask you, “Where’s the whipped cream?” Then she’ll take her sunglasses Michael Kors out of her bleach blonde, highlighted hair and put them back on with a scowl. When she’s in some good lighting, she’ll Instagram her drink and hashtag it #yum. 

Next, she will walk across the street to Brandy Melville to pick up some “basics.” While she’s there she’ll ask if they sell the basic black halter top in a smaller size, then realize that she wasn’t talking to a sales associate, but a pole. When she finds the sales associate she repeats the question. The sales associate will purse her lips before squeaking out, “it’s ‘one size fits all’ or you could try Baby Gap.” She leaves with two bralettes and three tops. 

On her way out of Brandy Melville, with half of her skinny mocha frapaccino sweating into her palms, melting in the 80 degree heat, she spies a Sephora. When she walks into the Sephora, she swatches a Nars Bronzer on the back of her hand. A woman in the store uniform will come up next to her, and examine her face. The woman will tell her everything she “needs” to “improve” her appearance. She will leave with a bronzer, a foundation, a moisturizer and a travel size of salt spray. 

As she’s making her way back to the parking garage, she runs into Kendal and Stacy from third period Trig class. They compliment her Toms and her crop top. She feels obligated to compliment Stacy’s new hair extensions, as well as Kendall’s Daisy Dukes. She offers them a ride home because she knows this is what social courtesy dictates.

In the parking garage, she sounds the clicker on her white BMW convertible and it echoes in the concrete structure. They decide to put the top down and play some Carly Rae Jepson. Stacy will observe that, “gosh, this is so basic of us.” They will all shrug in unison but carry on in the same manner. 

As she pulls out of the garage and onto the corner of Santa Monica Boulevard, she will see a girl with short brown hair wearing jeans and a button down standing on the corner for he walk sign.  She will feign a smile at this unfortunate girl, but the light turns green and she zooms away, Starbucks cup flying onto the sidewalk. 


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