(Day 24) Things You Don’t Need to Know about the “F-Word” 

  I was going to write about how writers test one another today, but as I sit in Malibu watching someone get arrested at an upscale strip mall, I want to talk about the “F-word.”


It’s okay to write on my blog. It’s not okay to publish in The New York Times. Instead they use a stand-in that says “[expletive].” After being in the journalism department at school I noticed that journalists are a demographic of people that use the f-word more than almost any other group, save rednecks. Rednecks can’t help it. It’s the second word they add to their vocabulary, right after the word “y’all” and before the word “Naw.” With those three words they can form their first sentence and probably the most common phrase in Redneck-ese, “Naw, fuck y’all!”

Fuck is a word that means everything and nothing at all at the same time. It can be offensive. It can be endearing. Some people say it so often that it loses all meaning. When you think about it, “fuck” is used as every figure of speech.

fuck (adj.) That fucking guy who pops his gum in the Starbucks line is so fucking annoying.

fuck (n.) My ex-boyfriend still looks at my snapchat story, what a little fuck-tard.

fuck (v.) “I fucked that girl into tomorrow,” said the jerk frat guy, lying,  the morning after he couldn’t get that girl’s number at the bar.

fuck (adv.) I was fucking running to the store, when this car came out of no where and side-swiped me!

Fuck is a word that people grow to accept in their twenties, that they seldom used in their teenage years, and that was taboo during their youth. I’m sorry if this post offended anyone, and I’m even more sorry that all the five-year-olds eating ice cream in Malibu today had to witness a man’s flagrant display of an extensive use of the word, but honestly if I offended you, well, you can fuck off. Just kidding.


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