Who doesn’t love shark week? This time last year, I was staying at my aunt’s house on Long Island, sitting on her couch, both of us hunched forward in anticipation of the shark. “CHOMP!” we would call out, every time a shark went to take a bite, as the Jaws theme song sped up.
I was bummed this year because my sister doesn’t own a TV, so instead I started my yearly spree of watching ocean documentaries. This is a bad idea, because suddenly I start to see everyone as part of a school.
David Attenborough starts to narrate the behavior in Santa Monica,
“A Sunday night. The local Angelinos gather on the Third Street Promenade. One brings a boom box in order to attract a mate. His song causes a frenzy amongst other passing Anelinos. This spirited ritual is called the “salsa.” The males follow the shaking hips of their female counterpart. They pair off and walk away hand in hand in the anticipation of sexual intercourse.”
See…it’s not healthy.
But, really, we aren’t that different from ocean life, they just operate on multiple planes… We have bottom dwellers and hermits who never go into the light. We have the male spinner dolphins that show off as social displays. Rays even have a mating ritual called the “two-mile-high club.” Yes, really! The BBC doesn’t lie.
And, this post, kids, is why binge watching is dangerous, because your thoughts sound completely ludicrous.
P.S. The shark in the picture is called a 6-Gill Shark. They’re one of the oldest unchanged animals on the planet. It’s a living pre-historic creature. They’re my favorite. No offense to the great whites of the world.